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Humans Are Monkeys up on 10/12/2007

From: moonblink

Date: 10/12/2007

There are billions of galaxies in the observable universe. And each of them contains hundr...

There are billions of galaxies in the observable universe. And each of them contains hundreds of billions of stars. In one of the galaxies, orbiting one of these stars. Lies a little blue planet. And this planet is run by a bunch of monkeys... Now these monkeys don't think of themselves as monkeys. They don't even think of themselves as animals. In fact, they love to list all the things that they think separate them from the animals. Opposable thumbs, self awareness... They use words like Homo Erectus and Australopithecus. You say tomato, I say tomatoe. They're animals alright; They're monkeys. Monkeys with high speed digital fiber-optic technology, but monkeys never-the-less. I mean, they're clever. You've got to give them that. The pyramids, skyscrapers, phantom jets, the Great Wall of China. That's all pretty impressive, for a bunch of monkeys. Monkeys whose brains have evolved to such an unmanageable size that it's pretty much impossible for them to stay happy for any length of time. In fact, they're the only animals who think they're supposed to be happy. All the other animals can just BE. But it's not that simple for the monkeys. You see, the monkeys are cursed with consciousness. and so the monkeys are afraid. So the monkeys worry. The monkeys worry about everything, but mostly about what all the other monkeys think. Because the monkeys desperately want to fit in, with the other monkeys. Which is pretty hard to do, because a lot of the monkeys hate each other. This is really what separates them from the other animals. These monkeys hate. They hate monkeys that are different. Monkeys from different places. Monkeys who are different color. You see, the monkeys feel alone: ALL 6 BILLION of them. Some of the monkeys pay another monkey to listen to their problems. The monkeys want answers. And the monkeys know they are going to die. So the monkeys make up gods. and then they worship them. Then the monkeys start to argue over whose made-up god is better. And then the monkeys get really pissed off and this is usually when the monkeys decide that it's a good time to start killing each other. So the monkeys wage war. The monkeys make hydrogen bombs. The monkeys have got their entire planet wired up to explode. The monkeys just can't help it. Some of the monkeys play to a sold out crowd of other monkeys. The monkeys make trophies, and then they give them to each other... Like it means something. Some of the monkeys think they've got it all figured out. Some of the monkeys read Nietzsche. The monkeys argue about Nietzsche. Without ever giving any consideration to the fact that Nietzsche was just another monkey. The monkeys make plans. The monkeys fall in love. The monkeys have sex. And then they make more monkeys. The Monkees make music. And then the monkeys dance. DANCE MONKEYS DANCE! The monkeys make a hell of a lot of noise. The monkeys have so much potential if they would only apply themselves. The monkeys shave the hair off their bodies in blatant denial of their true monkey nature. The monkeys build giant monkey hives, that they call cities. The monkeys draw a lot of imaginary lines in the dirt. The monkeys are running out of oil. Which is what fuels their precarious civilization. The monkeys are polluting and raping their planet like there's no tomorrow. The monkeys like to pretend that everything is just fine. Some of the monkeys actually believe that the entire universe was created for their benefit. As you can see these are some messed up monkeys. These monkeys are at once the ugliest and the most beautiful creatures on the planet. And the monkeys don't want to be monkeys, they want to be something else. But they're not. [the end] "Dance, Monkeys, Dance" Written & Performed by Ernest Cline soundtrack: "Music for a Found Harmonium" by Penguin Cafe Orchestra

Human Evolution Did We Come From Monkeys?

by: FFreeThinker
303,233 views

facebook.com/ScienceReason ... AronRa reveals a controversial new taxonomy stating that humans and other apes not only evolved directly from monkeys, but that we are in fact still monkeys right now. --- Please SUBSCRIBE to Science & Reason: • www.youtube.com/FFreeThinker • www.youtube.com/ScienceTV • www.youtube.com/Best0fScience • www.youtube.com/RationalHumanism --- Turns out we DID come from monkeys! In an earlier video, AronRa listed many of the taxonomic traits identifying humans as primates. In another video, he also explained why we are more specifically classified as a species of apes. But he deliberately omitted an intermediate stage between those two apparent levels, because its one that evokes so much resistance it really requires separate discussion just for that one grade alone. No-one argues whether were vertebrates or placental mammals, even though that also means were animals. The fact that were apes can now be verified just as easily. For a while, most people thought the word, ape referred only to extant non-human pongids also known as great apes. There was no consideration given to lesser apes, nor to any of the many ancient apes we kept finding fossils for. Mainstream science sources are just now starting to realize that the word, ape means a lot more than just chimpanzees, gorillas, and orangutans, and that it includes a few extinct hominids that are more humanoid than any of these. So there was a problem with our old method of classification, and it had to be fixed. Over the last two hundred and fifty years, weve kept patching up the original seven-layer system by adding a suborder, infraorder, superfamily, subgenus, and so on - til we cant even tell how to rank the labels anymore. Thats when we figured out that there are no ranks! So we dropped the labels and found a new system, one that isnt so arbitrary. See, the problem with Linnaean taxonomy is that some of it is subjective. Its usually based on morphological similarity, and sometimes on opinion, and loathsome opinions at that. There's often no way to prove whether Linnaean classification was even correct because he didn't rely on the rigid sort of rules that phylogenetics does. We used to say that men didnt evolve from apes, but that men and apes shared a common ancestor. Now we have a better understanding of what an ape is, and that our common ancestor actually would have been classified as such, and so should we be. This rule of monophyletic hierarchy should apply to everything including the race of cat-people from the science fiction comedy, Red Dwarf. Creationists try to ridicule evolution through the implication that we came from monkeys, and those who know the difference are quick to point out that apes are not monkeys. For one thing, apes dont have tails. But theres more to it than that. For example, we can tell that a Barbary ape isnt really an ape, its a tailless monkey; the same way we can tell that a glass snake isnt really a snake; its a legless lizard. There are so many distinctions that even if we found a snake that had legs, (and we have) wed still know it was a snake. But snakes are a subset of the order, Squamata; That means lizard. If snakes evolved from lizards, do they stop being lizards at the moment they become snakes? And when exactly is that moment? It turns out this is another confusing convention in Linnaean taxonomy which is corrected by cladistics. Paraphyletic groups shouldnt exist in phylogenetics, nor would systematic classification permit the emergence of new species to add another equivalent category. Instead existing branches split into successive subsets that are each monophyletic, sharing a common line of descent from which they can diverge but never detach. This means snakes will always be a subset of lizards and apes would still be monkeys. • www.youtube.com/AronRa • locolobo.org • darwinwasright.homestead.com/UranFnMonkeyMate.html --- All clips/images used in this video are either copyright-free or covered under "fair use" for nonprofit educational purposes (Title 17 § 107 of the USC). .