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The Onion reflects on the discovery of the first lesbian, the joyous Hindenburg explosion, and the Sears Tower's challenge to God. Subscribe to The Onion on YouTube: bit.ly Like The Onion on Facebook: www.fb.com Follow The Onion on Twitter: www.twitter.com (less)

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The revelation that Obama's candidacy was the only thing that gave their lives any meaning has caused many supporters to wander aimlessly, unsure of what to do with themselves. (less)

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Excruciating up-to-the-minute coverage of some irrelevant bullshit story that has no ramifications whatsoever. (less)

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Onion editorial cartoonist Stan Kelly is one of the world's top opinion-makers. He gets up close and personal in this new video series. See the cartoon, Holy Matri-Money, here: onion.com Subscribe to The Onion on YouTube: bit.ly Like The Onion on Facebook: www.fb.com Follow The Onion on Twitter: www.twitter.com (less)

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The parents of 13-year old Caitlin Teagart have decided to end her life, saying she can now do nothing but lay on the couch and whine about things being "gay." Subscribe to The Onion on YouTube: bit.ly Like The Onion on Facebook: www.fb.com Follow The Onion on Twitter: www.twitter.com Subscribe to The Onion on YouTube: bit.ly Like The Onion on Facebook: www.fb.com Follow The Onion on Twitter: www.twitter.com (less)

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Multi-millionaire pop sensation, K'ronikka, appears on Today Now! completely unaware that she is responsible for the deterioration of civilized society. Subscribe to The Onion on YouTube: bit.ly Like The Onion on Facebook: www.fb.com Follow The Onion on Twitter: www.twitter.com (less)

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An Al Qaeda representative says that claims the US government was behind the attacks on Sept. 11th are demeaning to Al Qaeda. More coverage at: onion.com (less)

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Today Now! welcomes Linda Johnston, the inspiring woman who made history by talking about herself continuously for over fifty hours. Subscribe to The Onion on YouTube: bit.ly Like The Onion on Facebook: www.fb.com Follow The Onion on Twitter: www.twitter.com (less)

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Despite arguments against capital punishment, the Justices overwhelmingly approved its use, especially if they get to participate in some executions. (less)

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Despite ethical concerns about testing on humans, researchers say their work was necessary to determine the boundary between garbage and food. (less)

Keywords: onion The Onion comedy satire news Onion News Network ONN

Fans are worried that the feature film adaptation of the beloved trailer won't live up to the original 90-second story's vision. More coverage at: onion.com (less)

Keywords: onion The Onion comedy satire news Onion News Network ONN

Two prospective Eagle Scouts explain how they are preventing breast cancer by helping women examine their breasts. (less)

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Booker T & the MG's - green onions - mod classic 60s (less)

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Full coverage tonight at 10/9c only on IFC TV. The irresistibly cute photo was forwarded millions of times before servers collapsed. Original photo: yfrog.com (less)

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In this episode we show you how to charge your iPod (or other mp3 player) for up to 20 minutes using electrolytes derived from Gatorade or Powerade which are then stored within the cells of an onion. You will need: 1. 1 White onion 2. 2 cups of Gatorade 3. Screwdriver 4. iPod and USB cableDisclaimer: As with this experiment and all other HouseHold Hacker videos. We cannot be held responsible for damage or mistakes made if attempting the experiments. These projects are for demonstration purposes only and should not be attempted at home. Note: *This video is a parody* (less)

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from Onion News Network Season 1 Episode 9 (less)

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Onions can lend a sweet distinct undertone to many soups, sauces, and stews. For more great videos check out: www.goodhousekeeping.com More from the World of Good Housekeeping: www.goodhousekeeping.com Subscribe to Good Housekeeping: subscribe.hearstmags.com - (less)

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Our morning show's political correspondent offers tips on how you can seem informed about politics without picking up a single newspaper. (less)

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Exactly what the title says. :) (less)

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With the economy sliding deeper into a recession, panelists discuss whether it's time to stop throwing our money into a massive pit out in the desert. (less)

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For a majority of likely voters, meaningless bullshit will be the most important factor in deciding who they will vote for in 2008. More coverage at: onion.com (less)

Keywords: onion The Onion comedy satire news Onion News Network ONN

Repeatedly stabbing monkeys with sharpened objects may have an adverse effect on their health, according to a new study. More coverage at: onion.com (less)

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